October 9, 2013

Obama Evicted from White House due to Shutdown

By Jonathan D. Hodges

Staring outside the single pane window of his Motel 6 room, President Obama mutters a few curse words about the Republican leadership. He then quickly apologizes to his daughters, “I’m sorry you had to hear that from me girls, and I’m even more sorry about the GOP forcing us into this place.” 

As the microwave timer goes off, Obama violently shakes his hand after pulling out four hot pockets. After the family dinner, Obama spoke to the press about how enduring this situation made him even more grateful for the sacrifices of our armed forces. “Living comfortably in the White House almost made me forget about the living conditions of our brave men and women. While they’re staying in one star motels across continents, I feel that I could totally relate to their circumstance after staying here.”

As he continued speaking to the media outside, Michelle Obama was heard screaming at the motel clerk about the small size of the Motel 6 gym: “What do you take me for? There should be a free spinning class AND yoga instructors on-site, do you hear me?!!”

Unable to restrain her from breaking flower pots in the lobby, Secret Service agents took shelter outside, along with the President. Obama then slowly turned to the media and said, “I wish I had my teleprompter, otherwise I don’t know what to say to calm her down.”

~ End of Transcript

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