October 12, 2015
May 5, 2015
Herval Ruckisberg, CNN
October 9, 2013
October 5, 2012
- Have all future debates pre-recorded
- Filter questions beforehand
- Install a teleprompter for the duration of the debate
- Edit the footage before broadcasting to the public
July 24, 2012
- Durable vinyl covers for each machine to protect you from excess dust and sunlight during non-election years
- Regularly scheduled maintenance to prevent unplanned software viruses and hardware malfunctions
- Anything else to your hard drive’s desire
March 2, 2012
January 19, 2012
December 28, 2011
July 25, 2011
In light of the escalating gun violence across the U.S., two Senators are placing blame on the video game industry for its lack of 'gun control in gaming.' In addition, Senators Barbara Boxer and Diane Feinstein claim that the killing of innocent people in video games is both "inhumane and unconstitutional" during a joint press conference in Sacramento today.
"We cannot stand idly by and watch thousands, perhaps MILLIONS of innocent video game characters DIE just for the thrill of it!" said Sen. Boxer. Concerning firearms, Sen. Feinstein said "The reckless and UNREGULATED use of firearms in gaming is producing a generation of murderers - and we need mandatory gun safety in all video games just as we do in the REAL WORLD!"
S.B.672, called the 'Let's Save our Children and Video Game Characters Act' - would mandate the following:
- 30 day waiting period for each character to possess a firearm
- 1 gun per month limit, including both long guns and hand guns
- Federal and State background check for each game character - to be paid for by the gamer
- Removal of all illegal weapons from video games, such as automatics and sawed-off shotguns
- A 10 round magazine capacity limit per firearm, with no modifications allowed
- No character will fire unless first fired upon
- All body armor is strictly prohibited
- All 'game crimes' will be heard in a newly created Judicial System called 'Gamer's Court'
Before the 2012 election, both Senators also plan to introduce the E.I.G.N. Act (Equality In Gaming Now) to give equal representation within every video game to gays, lesbians and transsexuals.
~ End of Transcript
July 19, 2011
June 27, 2011
June 19, 2011
June 16, 2011
Amidst the tumultuous political and economic climate that is engulfing Europe, another power struggle is underway. “This is my birthright and my calling, it belongs to me and so it must be!” shouted a defiant Louis the XXXVVII.
Speaking to a dedicated group of followers at the annual Renaissance faire in Marseille, his supporters cheered wildly as he spoke about resurrecting lost pillars of French culture.
“My great-great-great-great grandfathers would quiver in disbelief to witness the agony and treachery which has befallen our land. By reinstating me to the throne, I will reverse the horrific nightmare which now plagues our country.” Mr. Louis XXXVVII then proceeded to read aloud his five-point plan that he would implement as King:
1) All government officials are to wear wigs, as was custom throughout 18th century France
2) Every female member of Parliament is to be expelled immediately
3) All migrants, including those with no French ancestry are to become indentured servants of the State (excluding tourists)
4) Full and immediate withdrawal from the European Union, and dissolution of the Euro as accepted currency
5) Full and complete control of all domestic and foreign affairs is granted to the King
Louis XXXVVII then called upon French President Nicolas Sarcozy to immediately abdicate his position, and for Parliamentary powers to be revoked and reduced to mere advisory roles.
After issuing his demands, he then led his followers to the top of Eifel Tower, where they chanted ‘Viva la France’ for 45 minutes.
~ End of Transcript
April 21, 2011
March 27, 2011
In a lawsuit which names ‘Mother Nature’ as a defendant, the American Civil Liberties Union charges that the animal kingdom is purposely discriminating against homosexuality.
“Generation after generation, the animal kingdom continually teaches its offspring that heterosexuality is the only choice...we believe that they should learn alternative lifestyles, just like children in schools today” said ACLU Chief Counsel, Hermin Werzberg.
The suit also claims ‘Nearly every species perpetuates an environment that is hostile to creatures who suffer with gender identity.”
President Barack Obama has not taken a side with the plantiffs or the animal kingdom, and instead advocated the need for ‘social acceptance’ while vacationing in the Bahamas. Talk Radio host Lush Rimbaugh denounced the lawsuit: “With this country facing a $17,000 budget deficit and unemployment at 5.3%, we should not be focused on this non-issue.”
The Center for Family Values (CFV) filed a friend of the court brief to support the defendants, with CFV President Randall Smythe saying, “If it ain’t broken don’t fix it. Why try to change the laws of nature after they’ve been set for millions of years?"
The case also has strong support in Sacramento, with state senator Mark Leno (D-San Francisco) leading the effort to also pass a bill which would require pet owners to educate their pets about alternative lifestyles. When asked why he is supporting the case, Leno replied “I once had a male hamster named Lewis, and Lewis was rejected by his female counterparts - because I know he was gay and never had any support amongst the animal community..how many other gay creatures are out there, and afraid to come out of the closet?”
The case was filed with the Federal District Court in San Francisco, with Judge Vaughn Walker presiding.
~ End of Transcript
March 2, 2011
“Today is a monumental day for internet viewership equality" said Missouri Congressman Lacy Clay during a fiery speech before the House.
He has authored a bill called the ‘Youtube Viewership Equality Decree (YVED)' which would mandate that Youtube, and all other video sharing sites allocate a fixed amount of views to each submitted video.
Mr. clay also said “It is discriminatory to favor one video over another. I do not know who that ‘one’ viewer is who saw my speech, but whomever it is - he must be very offended to know that he is all alone.”
The speech to which he refers is one that he gave Feb. 22 on the House floor, where he derided Economist/Historian Thomas DiLorenzo, and mocked Austrian economics. When asked by reporters how many views his video should receive, he replied “Whatever Justin Bieber gets, I oughta get.”
The bill also has bi-partisan support from Republicans such as Rep. Eric Cantor - whose Youtube response to the State of the Union has received 11 views so far.
~ End of Transcript